Gold Star Junkie

May 2, 2018
3 min read

When I was in elementary school we had positive behavior charts on the wall to show our progress in certain subjects. I look back now on those days and get inside the head of the little girl I used to be and remember how competitive I was to be the one in the lead and getting as many gold stars as fast as I could. In a matter of speaking, I am still a gold star seeker. I was reminded of this while listening to one of my favorite authors, Gretchen Rubin and her wonderful podcast Happier with Gretchen Rubin. I completely relate to her and her "gold star junkie" mentality as she describes herself. I realized I still carry that behavior in to my adult life.

I think that at times it is a blessing to be self motivated and driven, and also a curse when I don't seem to get the appreciation that I think I deserve. My adult mind tells me that most people probably don't get the appreciation they deserve. (It sounds somewhat ridiculous and embarrassing as I write this that I am admitting that I want more appreciation. Ultimately, the appreciation that I need should be coming from within my own mind). Once, I made this realization I decided to make sure I give out at least one compliment (or more) to someone else each day.

I follow the practices and teachings of my life coach, Brooke Castillo. Her concept of the Model helps me re-train my brain from the "unintentional thought" to the "intentional thought". Her teachings are simple yet profound and it would take too much explanation for this post to explain, but the gist of it is, take the negative thought, "I don't get enough appreciation" and switch it to, "I appreciate myself". It sounds so simple yet it works! Your thoughts drive your actions and then you ultimately get the results you desire. In this case: appreciation.

Why am I talking about all of this? People often ask me how I get so much done. The answer is that I'm a "gold star junkie". I am the one giving myself the gold stars. I am the one who wants to have an organized home, systems in place that don't let me get into mommy burn out and decision fatigue. I want to have a smooth an easily run family and household. That little extra effort that I put into making lists, task stacking, creating "homes" for items and putting them back in their "homes", chores for my children and myself, etc. I can be the most productive that I can be and feel great at the end of the day when my head hits the pillow knowing that I did my best. Hence, achieving my own mental gold star.

Here are a few tips on how to give "gold stars" to people who cross your path on any given day:

1. Give praise to someone who is least expecting it. I love to say thank you to people at the grocery store. It is easy to do because most people at the grocery store are so friendly to begin with.

2. Give praise to someone who you might think already gets a lot of praise. You might be surprised but that person might not get as much praise as you think. So give it anyway.

3. Praise people even when they are not in your presence. It's always nice to hear when you have met someone you haven't met before and that person says, "I've heard so many great things about you!". Praise your spouse when they are not around, or employee, or PTA member.

4. Praise someone for their effort, not for being "good". Be specific. Praise for hard work, or persistence, or positive attitudes. This is especially good for children.

5. Praise should only come from sincerity. Don't praise someone and ask for a favor in the same sentence. That can come across as insincerity. It can look as though you have a hidden agenda.

Thank you for visiting my blog. If you are interested to learn more about Gretchen Rubin or Brooke Castillo. Click on their names in this blog and it will take you to their websites.